Karneval is the Rhineland's version of what is called Mardi Gras or Carneval elsewhere in the world--i.e. the big celebration/sinfest before Lent, where excess and indulgence is encouraged. In Köln, the party starts on a Thursday and goes until the next Tuesday, with the Monday (Rosenmontag) being the craziest day. I had to be in Berlin on Saturday night, so I took a rideshare on Sunday to be there for Sunday evening festivities.
Part of going crazy Kölle-style is everyone wears a costume everywhere, so I reprised my zebra costume from Halloween but with warmer zebra print pajamas (yes I own more than one pair...thanks Mom!). Dini and Mari were Piraten, and Jan was a Gärtner:
And we were ready to go out on the town!
On the way, Jan pulled out little bottles of fruit schnapps from his overalls (haha) and we drank them in a particular way: you have to hit the top of the bottle against something--either a surface or the top of another bottle--then put the cap on your nose and balance it there while downing the bottle's contents. I noticed at the parade the next day that some people had crimped the bottle tops to their noses and just left them there, haha.
Our destination was a huge tent in the town center where you had to have a ticket to get in. The costumes were varied and crazy--Elvises, convicts, schoolgirls, farmers, angels, frogs, and basically everything you could imagine as well as just random crazy outfits.
There were also other zebras:
And one guy dressed as Bert as in Bert and Ernie. Dini asked if I knew what Sesame Street was, and when I told her it was American, she was super surprised. Turns out Jan and Dini thought Sesame Street was a German show! Strange.
Karneval music is hilarious, and I learned quite a few of the songs. This was one of my favorites:
The lyrics are in the video, and the chorus translates roughly as:
And I fly, fly fly
Like a flyer
I'm so strong, strong, strong
Like a tiger
And so tall, tall, tall
Like a giraffe
So high
Whoa oh oh
And I jump, jump, jump
Again and again
And I swim, swim, swim
Over to you
And I take, take, take
You by the hand because I like you
And I say
Today is such a lovely day
Lalalalala
When you say "flieg, flieg, flieg" you flap your arms like flying, "stark, stark, stark" flex your biceps, "groß, groß, groß" stretch your arm up as if measuring a tall thing, "spring, spring, spring" you jump, "schwim, schwim, schwim" you make a breast stroke motion, and "nehm, nehm, nehm" you grab the hands of the people around you and dance with them :) It was so fun! And my companions seemed proud that I caught on so quickly, haha.
Here's another fun one:
Translation of the chorus:
Unfortunately I don't know anymore what you look like
I don't know your name
Don't give a shit! DRUNK!
(repeat once, then...)
Shala-lalala-lala-lalalala-lala-la-lala
DRUNK!!!
etc.
Hahaha.
or this lovely little number, by the same guy:
Chrous:
Oh...Joana (you horny sow!)
Born to give love (you hussy!)
To experience forbidden dreams (you motherfucker!)
Without question until the morning, aha, aha, aha...
Classy, no? The famous German tallk show host Stefan Raab thought it would be funny to serenade Rihanna with that song on his show...when he translated, she was none too pleased.
There are also tamer Karneval staples such as Viva Colonia.
The next day we went into the city to see the Rosenmontag Karnevalzug (Karneval parade). Basically you stand for 3-4 hours by the side of the parade route while innumerable floats and marching people in costume come by and throw candy, flowers, and sometimes toys into the crowd. Instead of flashing to earn these gifts, people scream "CAMELLA!" (at least I think that's how you spell it), meaning candy. When it gets thrown people go nuts, scrambling on the ground and snatching at treats. They fill great big bags with them, or umbrellas if hanging from a window above:
I was given a bag to hold, not understanding that the intention was for me to keep everything that got put in it! Yikes! I also got wounded by flying chocolate bars more than once. Seriously, it's dangerous! They throw great big chocolate bars and whole boxes of chocolates. By the end, I thought I was developing a twitch from flinching so much, haha. It was fun though, and I got to show off my new-found knowledge of Karneval songs by singing along with the crowd. I will say though that I have never seen so much blackface. Um? Inappropriate. Since when is that ok?
I also didn't even know that yellowface existed, but apparently it does:
Plus there were these:
It kind of weirded me out/seriously offended me.
There were also lots of politically themed floats making fun of Obama...and only one making fun of Merkel. This particularly classy example shows Obama farting in the Statue of Liberty's face:
Also, despite the number of small children in attendance, there were some disturbing floats:
and some explicit ones:
Hm yeah so that aspect was...interesting.
It started snowing right as the parade ended and I had to hurry off to catch my ride back to Berlin.
All in all an awesome whirlwind trip and certainly a cultural experience not to be missed!
Bis bald,
D.
PS. The haul:
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